I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
