I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
