if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You're like the curious george of whores
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I love you. Go after that dick
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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