I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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