the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
