she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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