i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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