I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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