Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
