My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
