so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
