My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
