That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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