do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
