Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
