just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
