So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
