plz talk dirty to me
babies were throwing up all over the place
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
