We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
