all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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