Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize