So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
