I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
