how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize