How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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