i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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