I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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