So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
