i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
