I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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