we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
