apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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