Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
