walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
