Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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