Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A+ Viking dick
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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