Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
