Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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