and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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