at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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