its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
