Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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