So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
