I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
