Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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