the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize