I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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