got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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