Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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