i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
