Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
