my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
