oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
