yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
