some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
