Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
