How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just want to make out with him forever
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
