I must be too annoying 4 u.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
