He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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