She is in my trunk
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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