office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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