one two three fourrrrnication!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
