Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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