NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
