and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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