i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
