You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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