Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
