is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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