Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
