This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
