Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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