You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize