im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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