my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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