the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
