so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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