I want to have your abortion
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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