That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
