Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize