she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
