Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
