Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
