I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
