Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want to make out with him forever
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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