i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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