he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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